BEST SONGS OF 2009

Right click to download y'all.

1. Girls - Lust For Life

2. Toro Y Moi - Blessa

3. Passion Pit - Sleepyhead

4. Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks

5. Health - Die Slow

6. Indian Jewelry - Temporary Famine Ship

7. JJ - Ecstasy

8. Liars - Scissor

9. Los Campesinos - The Sea Is A Good Place To Think About The Future

10. Thom Yorke - Hearing Damage

11. No Age - Genie

12. WHY? - This Blackest Purse

13. Women - Black Rice

14. The XX - Islands

15. The Antlers - Bear

16. Former Ghosts - In Earth's Palm

17. Atlas Sound - Walkabout (Ft. Panda Bear)

18. Japandroids - Heart Sweats

19. Wavves - Mickey Mouse

20. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Hysteric

21. Spectrals - Leave Me Be

22. The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - Come Saturday

23. The Raveonettes - Suicide

24. School of Seven Bells - Iamundernodisguise

25. The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition

26. Fever Ray - If I Had A Heart (Fuck Buttons Remix)

Scared I have forgotten a lot so this list may be altered when I remember other songs.

In fact I remembered some really good songs last night but I should have written them down as now I have forgotten them once more.

2/11/09

Hello, Happy Halloween.

I've got a mixCD up, download here if you're into chillwave, hip hop, alt, electro, etc. You might like it. Feel free to give feedback.

Is it wrong to not care about an education? Terribly. Yet, I have ungracefully slipped into the routine of nonchalantly 'not giving a fuck'. Since joining my new college this lifestyle has become all too easily accessible. Lost all inspiration for art. Psychology is a 'drag'. Media Studies is just for a laugh seemingly. Admittedly I am still retaining a lust for English Literature. I'll grasp a hold of that for a while but even so I have become paranoid and fearful that my skills in that are slowly disintegrating. Every spelling error I commit pangs ever so slightly on my aching heart strings.

So I tried to figure out why things had got this way. I noticed it wasn't happening just to me but to a lot of teenagers around me.

THE INTERNET.

I realised I may just spend the majority of my life metaphorically surfing about this thing. Not even getting worn out or tired. Feeling content with slouching in bed with my laptop upon my knees, lazily refreshing social network sites just incase something funny/interesting has appeared. I think the click of the refresh button is something most people are so used to doing they have completely disregarded it. SO SHIT. Why am I wasting my time away? Yeah, I also use my computer for a lot of good things; I am constantly finding new music and I update my Itunes with at least three new albums a day nowadays. I read some good articles every now and then, find out some 'cool' news on twitter, learn a whole lot by accident and yeah streaming south park episodes in bed aint too bad. But seriously; what the fuck happened to 'reality'? I barely read anymore. I get in from college and flit in between being on my laptop, eating, drinking coffee and watching eastenders until at least 1AM, where I am part of a vast amount of people with school the next morning, who are choosing the internet over sleep and their school work. I guess I can kinda feel the life being sucked out of me. I want to try and imagine a world where every average teenager in an MEDC wasn't glued to their personal computer but I really can't.

Sure it is a little embarrassing that I give up so much of my personal time to the deep vortex of the internet that sometimes I prefer it to real life. But I am openly admitting it because I know I am not the only one.

Dan joined the group Own Up! Who else has left all their work to the last day of half term? ·

Miranda joined the group I should be doing coursework, but I'm sat staring at Facebook blankly

Dan joined the group "Oh shit, It's due tomorrow?"

Miranda joined the group If I Fail My Exams, Its Facebook's Fault.

I'm 'not being funny' but Facebook has actually begun seriously destroying the nation's education. We are the teenage era of the internet. Try to imagine where we will be in 20 years time from now. If I live that long, I will not be surprised if all lessons are held on the internet. I am also interested in the IQ statistics for the upcoming years. Ugh. Society is terrible. Modern life is rubbish. Although now I have been born into the 21st century I cannot quite possibly comprehend life without this level of technology; I well and truly wish I had been born at least 40 years earlier. Every single day.

iWANTtoGEToffTHEinternetBUTiDONTthinkIcan

stephanie meyer is not the only author

I am going to admit something kinda 'big' here.

One thing that often holds me back from 'making friends' in life is down to one very sad fact.

I can't ever fully have a desire to be your friend if you don't read novels.

I mean, WHAT EVEN ARE BOOKS NOWADAYS? Because not many people seem to even acknowledge them in life really. The chances are if you are an average teenager and you are reading this blog post right now, already you will be thinking something along the lines of 'WTF IS DIS SHIT, DIS GURL IS WELL GHEY'. Or even, 'WHO THE FUCK READS BOOKS FOR FUN?' Seems fucking crazy doesn't it, that people might find pleasure from reading. Prttyweird.

It greatly pains me to hear people say 'OMG I HAVENT READ A BOOK FOR LIKE BARE YEARS'. After I hear that emit from your mouth, I might as well face we will never be 'real' friends. If that makes me harsh and judgmental then so be it. I told some new college peers that I would rather have a life without sex than a life without books. They thought I was joking hahahahoho. I was pretty excited to join the book club at my new college, yet when I turned up I found there are only 3 other people, one of which can not speak English. I was really sad.

Literature is probably in my top five list of favourite things in the world. Being captivated and lost in a novel is something pretty beautiful to me. Especially the kind of book that will stay on your mind for days and haunt you. Sometimes when I finish reading a book I feel a lot of grief/annoyance that it is over because I wish I could go on reading it and I am sad that it is finished. I adore reading, always have done, always will. My main aspiration in life is to write books for other people to enjoy the way I have with so many books. Reading is fucking brilliant for so many reasons. You begin recognising and understanding so many things in modern day culture, and where they have been influenced from. Yeah sure you watch Big Brother and 'LUV IT', but did you know the name and concept originally came from a book called 1984 by George Orwell? Nah probably not. Wanna know the main reason why reading is actually SO KEWL? It broadens your understanding of everything. Gives you context to life, background knowledge of so much. It inspires.

MY TOP TEN FAVOURITE BOOKS THAT I HAVE READ THIS YEAR:

(I am recommending them to you BTW)

1. 'Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?' by Phillip K Dick.

Fucking gem of a sci-fi novel here. THE FILM BLADE RUNNER IS BASED UPON IT. Couldn't stop thinking about it. Such a sick story.

2. 'Lolita' by Vladmir Nabokov

Beautiful, elegant prose. Something edgy. Feel empathy with a pedophile if you're up for it.

3. 'The Perks of Being a Wall Flower' by Stephen Chbosky

A really easy read for anyone, a touching story.

4. 'Girlfriend In A Coma' by Douglas Coupland

Do you like the Smiths? Plenty of references. Sci-fi again. Lovely feel.

5. 'On the Road' by Jack Kerouc

Fucking something! Beat generation, so exciting, you will want to be there USA in the 50s, love the idiolect. I fell in love with it a bit, also read 'And the Hippos Were Boiled In Their Tanks'.

6. 'Perfume' by Patrick Suskind.

Enchanting, such amazing writing, you will get sucked in and believe everything which it's beautifully rich, detailed description. Kinda bizarre towards the end, but with really strong realistic overlays.

TO BE CONTINUED WHEN I AM NOT HUNGOVER AND NEEDING SLEEP.

get off

my shitty blog you idiots. stop talking about me, i dont talk about you nor do i have an interest in your lives. get on with your own lives, mine is irrelevant to yours. YES YES YES MATE.

hello the rest of the interwebs that don't inhabit my home town. ive decided i am going to do some music bloggings prtty soon. get ready.

i am

torn between two mind sets completely I'm afraid. Two extremes. I think its part of being a teenager; finding yourself. 

OPTION 1: Fuck the world yeah yeah yeah. You're all fucking disgusting, I don't wanna be a part of it. I spend most days trying to shroud reality and/or create my own. I don't care for petty concerns, I don't want to be part of your pathetic 'friendship' group. I don't trust you darling, no, not at all. Sometimes all I'd like to do is take drugs and listen to music and read literature. That's all I need, right? I lust to be as close to music as possible, and drugs help me achieve this. After bombing Methylone one night I lay in bed with my Ipod in and listened to Shuggie Otis. I think I touched heaven and came back. You probably would not understand. There's a feeling deep inside of me I'm afraid of, the urge to destroy reality. One hit aint enuf. I always desire to be even further out of mind, further away from reality. This I know will lead me no place good. I'm still a child and I've already done the majority of hard drugs. That's scary isn't it? Next step acid, next step heroin and there we have it. I've ended up a junky. A disgusting, filthy junky, but just like the rest of the world I suppose.

OPTION 2: I've got ambition. I've got talent. I'm strong. Been through a lot and I'll go through a lot more. Mother I tried, please believe me/I'm doing the best that I can/I'm ashamed of the things I've been put thorough/I'm ashamed of the person I am. I've got youth on my side. The world is waiting. I'm not as 'gorgeous' or 'hot' as some other girls but I'm pretty alright. I've had a middle class upbringing. I'm lucky. I can present myself perfectly. I've got what some people would die for. I forgive my parents for the things they have done and instead I appreciate that they're still here. I want to go places. I crave experience and to let the world teach me. I've got life. It's going to be fine.

people

are shit. sometimes it feels like i dont actually like anyone. the sooner you learn to rely upon yourself and yourself only, the better. i dont want to be a part of humanity. its destroying itself and it always has been with  the malice, corruption and lies. people are never who you want them to be. whenever youre feeling good and secure about yourself theres always going to be someone to kick you down, make you feel like nothing. dont rely on people, they will always let you down. rely upon yourself, and that way when you let yourself down you can learn from it. can people really ever change? or does the world just change?

mostly im just so lonely it hurts. 

fix your own life

things that are necessary for me to 'fix' my teenage years:

TO DO LIST I GUESS YEAH

i will tick these all off by 2010, probably.

1. get a job (easier said then done)

2. get stuck into new college

3. get new friends

4. GET OVER HIM (someone help me?)

5. get a boyfriend

6. sort out my vintage camera and TAKE PHOTOS

7. get some doc martens yeah yeah yeah

8. keep mum happy

9. get a nose ring

10. hair extensions

11. start doing art again

12. start writing again

13. get new a perfume

14. submit articles to local newspapers and magazine

15. get skinny (gotta stop eating so much) )))