BEST SONGS OF 2009

Right click to download y'all.

1. Girls - Lust For Life

2. Toro Y Moi - Blessa

3. Passion Pit - Sleepyhead

4. Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks

5. Health - Die Slow

6. Indian Jewelry - Temporary Famine Ship

7. JJ - Ecstasy

8. Liars - Scissor

9. Los Campesinos - The Sea Is A Good Place To Think About The Future

10. Thom Yorke - Hearing Damage

11. No Age - Genie

12. WHY? - This Blackest Purse

13. Women - Black Rice

14. The XX - Islands

15. The Antlers - Bear

16. Former Ghosts - In Earth's Palm

17. Atlas Sound - Walkabout (Ft. Panda Bear)

18. Japandroids - Heart Sweats

19. Wavves - Mickey Mouse

20. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Hysteric

21. Spectrals - Leave Me Be

22. The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - Come Saturday

23. The Raveonettes - Suicide

24. School of Seven Bells - Iamundernodisguise

25. The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition

26. Fever Ray - If I Had A Heart (Fuck Buttons Remix)

Scared I have forgotten a lot so this list may be altered when I remember other songs.

In fact I remembered some really good songs last night but I should have written them down as now I have forgotten them once more.

2/11/09

Hello, Happy Halloween.

I've got a mixCD up, download here if you're into chillwave, hip hop, alt, electro, etc. You might like it. Feel free to give feedback.

Is it wrong to not care about an education? Terribly. Yet, I have ungracefully slipped into the routine of nonchalantly 'not giving a fuck'. Since joining my new college this lifestyle has become all too easily accessible. Lost all inspiration for art. Psychology is a 'drag'. Media Studies is just for a laugh seemingly. Admittedly I am still retaining a lust for English Literature. I'll grasp a hold of that for a while but even so I have become paranoid and fearful that my skills in that are slowly disintegrating. Every spelling error I commit pangs ever so slightly on my aching heart strings.

So I tried to figure out why things had got this way. I noticed it wasn't happening just to me but to a lot of teenagers around me.

THE INTERNET.

I realised I may just spend the majority of my life metaphorically surfing about this thing. Not even getting worn out or tired. Feeling content with slouching in bed with my laptop upon my knees, lazily refreshing social network sites just incase something funny/interesting has appeared. I think the click of the refresh button is something most people are so used to doing they have completely disregarded it. SO SHIT. Why am I wasting my time away? Yeah, I also use my computer for a lot of good things; I am constantly finding new music and I update my Itunes with at least three new albums a day nowadays. I read some good articles every now and then, find out some 'cool' news on twitter, learn a whole lot by accident and yeah streaming south park episodes in bed aint too bad. But seriously; what the fuck happened to 'reality'? I barely read anymore. I get in from college and flit in between being on my laptop, eating, drinking coffee and watching eastenders until at least 1AM, where I am part of a vast amount of people with school the next morning, who are choosing the internet over sleep and their school work. I guess I can kinda feel the life being sucked out of me. I want to try and imagine a world where every average teenager in an MEDC wasn't glued to their personal computer but I really can't.

Sure it is a little embarrassing that I give up so much of my personal time to the deep vortex of the internet that sometimes I prefer it to real life. But I am openly admitting it because I know I am not the only one.

Dan joined the group Own Up! Who else has left all their work to the last day of half term? ·

Miranda joined the group I should be doing coursework, but I'm sat staring at Facebook blankly

Dan joined the group "Oh shit, It's due tomorrow?"

Miranda joined the group If I Fail My Exams, Its Facebook's Fault.

I'm 'not being funny' but Facebook has actually begun seriously destroying the nation's education. We are the teenage era of the internet. Try to imagine where we will be in 20 years time from now. If I live that long, I will not be surprised if all lessons are held on the internet. I am also interested in the IQ statistics for the upcoming years. Ugh. Society is terrible. Modern life is rubbish. Although now I have been born into the 21st century I cannot quite possibly comprehend life without this level of technology; I well and truly wish I had been born at least 40 years earlier. Every single day.

iWANTtoGEToffTHEinternetBUTiDONTthinkIcan

stephanie meyer is not the only author

I am going to admit something kinda 'big' here.

One thing that often holds me back from 'making friends' in life is down to one very sad fact.

I can't ever fully have a desire to be your friend if you don't read novels.

I mean, WHAT EVEN ARE BOOKS NOWADAYS? Because not many people seem to even acknowledge them in life really. The chances are if you are an average teenager and you are reading this blog post right now, already you will be thinking something along the lines of 'WTF IS DIS SHIT, DIS GURL IS WELL GHEY'. Or even, 'WHO THE FUCK READS BOOKS FOR FUN?' Seems fucking crazy doesn't it, that people might find pleasure from reading. Prttyweird.

It greatly pains me to hear people say 'OMG I HAVENT READ A BOOK FOR LIKE BARE YEARS'. After I hear that emit from your mouth, I might as well face we will never be 'real' friends. If that makes me harsh and judgmental then so be it. I told some new college peers that I would rather have a life without sex than a life without books. They thought I was joking hahahahoho. I was pretty excited to join the book club at my new college, yet when I turned up I found there are only 3 other people, one of which can not speak English. I was really sad.

Literature is probably in my top five list of favourite things in the world. Being captivated and lost in a novel is something pretty beautiful to me. Especially the kind of book that will stay on your mind for days and haunt you. Sometimes when I finish reading a book I feel a lot of grief/annoyance that it is over because I wish I could go on reading it and I am sad that it is finished. I adore reading, always have done, always will. My main aspiration in life is to write books for other people to enjoy the way I have with so many books. Reading is fucking brilliant for so many reasons. You begin recognising and understanding so many things in modern day culture, and where they have been influenced from. Yeah sure you watch Big Brother and 'LUV IT', but did you know the name and concept originally came from a book called 1984 by George Orwell? Nah probably not. Wanna know the main reason why reading is actually SO KEWL? It broadens your understanding of everything. Gives you context to life, background knowledge of so much. It inspires.

MY TOP TEN FAVOURITE BOOKS THAT I HAVE READ THIS YEAR:

(I am recommending them to you BTW)

1. 'Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?' by Phillip K Dick.

Fucking gem of a sci-fi novel here. THE FILM BLADE RUNNER IS BASED UPON IT. Couldn't stop thinking about it. Such a sick story.

2. 'Lolita' by Vladmir Nabokov

Beautiful, elegant prose. Something edgy. Feel empathy with a pedophile if you're up for it.

3. 'The Perks of Being a Wall Flower' by Stephen Chbosky

A really easy read for anyone, a touching story.

4. 'Girlfriend In A Coma' by Douglas Coupland

Do you like the Smiths? Plenty of references. Sci-fi again. Lovely feel.

5. 'On the Road' by Jack Kerouc

Fucking something! Beat generation, so exciting, you will want to be there USA in the 50s, love the idiolect. I fell in love with it a bit, also read 'And the Hippos Were Boiled In Their Tanks'.

6. 'Perfume' by Patrick Suskind.

Enchanting, such amazing writing, you will get sucked in and believe everything which it's beautifully rich, detailed description. Kinda bizarre towards the end, but with really strong realistic overlays.

TO BE CONTINUED WHEN I AM NOT HUNGOVER AND NEEDING SLEEP.

get off

my shitty blog you idiots. stop talking about me, i dont talk about you nor do i have an interest in your lives. get on with your own lives, mine is irrelevant to yours. YES YES YES MATE.

hello the rest of the interwebs that don't inhabit my home town. ive decided i am going to do some music bloggings prtty soon. get ready.

i am

torn between two mind sets completely I'm afraid. Two extremes. I think its part of being a teenager; finding yourself. 

OPTION 1: Fuck the world yeah yeah yeah. You're all fucking disgusting, I don't wanna be a part of it. I spend most days trying to shroud reality and/or create my own. I don't care for petty concerns, I don't want to be part of your pathetic 'friendship' group. I don't trust you darling, no, not at all. Sometimes all I'd like to do is take drugs and listen to music and read literature. That's all I need, right? I lust to be as close to music as possible, and drugs help me achieve this. After bombing Methylone one night I lay in bed with my Ipod in and listened to Shuggie Otis. I think I touched heaven and came back. You probably would not understand. There's a feeling deep inside of me I'm afraid of, the urge to destroy reality. One hit aint enuf. I always desire to be even further out of mind, further away from reality. This I know will lead me no place good. I'm still a child and I've already done the majority of hard drugs. That's scary isn't it? Next step acid, next step heroin and there we have it. I've ended up a junky. A disgusting, filthy junky, but just like the rest of the world I suppose.

OPTION 2: I've got ambition. I've got talent. I'm strong. Been through a lot and I'll go through a lot more. Mother I tried, please believe me/I'm doing the best that I can/I'm ashamed of the things I've been put thorough/I'm ashamed of the person I am. I've got youth on my side. The world is waiting. I'm not as 'gorgeous' or 'hot' as some other girls but I'm pretty alright. I've had a middle class upbringing. I'm lucky. I can present myself perfectly. I've got what some people would die for. I forgive my parents for the things they have done and instead I appreciate that they're still here. I want to go places. I crave experience and to let the world teach me. I've got life. It's going to be fine.

people

are shit. sometimes it feels like i dont actually like anyone. the sooner you learn to rely upon yourself and yourself only, the better. i dont want to be a part of humanity. its destroying itself and it always has been with  the malice, corruption and lies. people are never who you want them to be. whenever youre feeling good and secure about yourself theres always going to be someone to kick you down, make you feel like nothing. dont rely on people, they will always let you down. rely upon yourself, and that way when you let yourself down you can learn from it. can people really ever change? or does the world just change?

mostly im just so lonely it hurts. 

fix your own life

things that are necessary for me to 'fix' my teenage years:

TO DO LIST I GUESS YEAH

i will tick these all off by 2010, probably.

1. get a job (easier said then done)

2. get stuck into new college

3. get new friends

4. GET OVER HIM (someone help me?)

5. get a boyfriend

6. sort out my vintage camera and TAKE PHOTOS

7. get some doc martens yeah yeah yeah

8. keep mum happy

9. get a nose ring

10. hair extensions

11. start doing art again

12. start writing again

13. get new a perfume

14. submit articles to local newspapers and magazine

15. get skinny (gotta stop eating so much) )))

hello internet

y'all prbly didnt know this, but it is pretty tuff being a teenager sometimes.

figuring out life n all that shit. what does it mean to b a teenager? what does it feel like?

+ why do we spend so much of our lives sitting at home on tinternet, playing upon virtual farms n trying to change the world thru blogging? yes i do have 559 'friends' on the social networking site u may have heard of called 'facebook', but do i like any of these people? prbly not. why do we feel so lonely? so instead us poor teenagers try to drown our sorrow in gallons of strongbow and smoke away our troubles with some smooth mayfairs. the sophistated end of the teenage spectrum will prbly prefer white wine ((if they can afford it with their weekly allowance)) and even some marlboro lights. mmmm classy! perhaps we'll do a line of coke evry once in a while + feel like we've got 1 over our horrible fuckin parents who wont let us do what we fuckin like. fuckin sons of a bitches. we guys cant even get a job because of this so called 'economic depression' that we dont even understand because our brains r not yet fully developed :(

do u even understand what being a teenager in the 21st century is like? u cnt possibly. we jst wanna 'fuck shit up' and be 'alternative'. do u listen to radiohead? yes i have heard of the smiths so im so like 80s n cool like. one time i read trainspotting! so yeah i can understand drugs n the world surrounding them now. im saving up some of my allowance money so i can buy a fixed gear bike and cycle about town lookin suave. cant afford many drugs bOOHOO. i gave my CV into topshop and they said they'd give me a call so i got ready to have the most alt job about (except for urban outfitters) and then katie bovington told me they have received over 500 applications for 2 vacancies. FUCK THAT SHIT. see its relly not that easy being 16, growing up in a harsh, cold world with soulless art and soulless music. that dizzie rascal rapper - all he cares about is 'sex n violence'. does that mean that is all i care about too?

summer sweet

Exams are done.
England. Central london. Heatwaves. Prom Queen. Newspapers on trains. Swine flu. Pimms. Marujuanna. Sweat. Bare legs. Bare feet. Swimming pools. Gigs. Drugs. Belle & Sebastian. Floral dress patterns. Gold jewellery. Roll ups. Michael Jackson's death. Shady lane. Evening walks. China. Thick mascara. Eastenders. Psychoville. Coughs. Bug bites. Majorca. Twitter. Coffee + TV . Beer. Tate Modern. College induction day. Dave the laugh. Golf courses. Death of two mexican midget wrestlers. Almond crossaints from Pret. Working in the city. Pottery shops + italian children. Mushrooms. Blur.
Bye bye reality.

reasons to be cheerful. part 4

i am going to entirely dedicate this blogpost to ian robins dury. god bless. 9 years now since we lost you to cancer, and your music still continues to be beautiful, humourous and to inspire even today.

naturally, i was always going to be a fan of ian dury. both my english grandparents adored ian dury & the blockheads, as well as my own father who has raised me on the likes of the clash, the specials and the jam, alongside with ian dury & the blockheads of course. originally, years ago when i first properly listened to ian dury & the blockheads, i'll admit i didn't really get it. i was young and i dont think i could comprehend how different it was to the generic music in the charts. now at the age of 16, listening to ian dury & the blockheads never fails to bring a smile to my face and such a good, relaxed feeling.

it isn't just music; its poetry, wordplay and humour. and so british! not excelling merely lyrically, the blockheads created a sound drawn from so many influences, such as reggae, funk and jazz and of course rock and roll. the overall outcome is so original and endearing  and captures so much character.

i admire ian dury for a lot of reasons. growing up with polio is surely difficult, yet it only sharpened his character; he was still such a confident, positive and determined man. 

my dad has recently purchased an original piece of art of ian dury designed by peter blake, dury's art teacher, famous for designing the sleeve of the beatles' album 'sgt. pepper's lonely hearts club'. my dad paid an insane amount of money for it and when i found out the price i was kinda frustrated with him wasting the family's money on something so materialistic. but as it hangs up in the living room everytime i look at it, i realise it was worth every penny and more.

if you wanna make a good purchase, try buying this.  

i wrote my own list of reasons to be cheerful inspired from the blockheads' song. i guess its pretty personal to me, its all the best things in my life i am so glad i can experience, things id miss so much.

- summer buddy holly

- cold beer outside in the sun

- strangers seeming better than friends

- being alone on an empty train carriage

- the velvet underground, the beatles and small faces on a sunday morning

- smoking out of windows

- the beauty of music

- silent nights sitting up in bed

- having nothing to worry about

- being on the very edge of the night, laughing

- long hot showers in the winter

- being absolutely free

- dancing with a wine glass in hand

- finishing a book and feeling so content

- swimming with the sun on your back

- being in love

- fried bacon and haloumi in honey to cure any hangover

- dogs winking

- running down to the train station in high heels as the sun sets

- the smell of jasmine taking me back to cairp

- being absolutely reckless and daring

- the sun on one side of the sky, and the moon on the other

- cool summer nights

- the excitement of the future

R.I.P ian dury. we miss ya.

18.02.09

I have somehow stumbled upon discovery of the lonely, single adult life. Feel a bit like Bridget Jones. Since my mother inflicted the new rule 'no more going out until your art coursework is finished' I've been waking up every day to an empty and silent house. First of all it was brilliant, playing music excessively loud and dancing around the kitchen whilst I cook myself glorious meals. Now sadly I have come to realise that I must rely on myself, as to my furious anger this morning I discovered there was no milk left in the fridge to even make myself a bloody coffee. After scrounging around the house searching for money I discovered a crumpled fiver in my brother's bedroom and decided to cycle down to the shops in my pajamas. Then I remembered how embarrassed I was yesterday when someone said to me "saw you yesterday, walking your dog in your pajamas". OH GREAT, its like being bloody celebrity spotted wearing no makeup with messy undone hair. Whipped on some trackies, then said FUCK CYCLING when I couldnt find the key to the shed anywhere. During the walk down I was listening to a real good band called WHITE FLIGHT, check them out here. Bought a cheeky little Freddo whilst I was in Londis, why the hell have they increased in price by 5p? Everything is gonna get worse in England. Give it a year and I bet you Freddos will be 30p which is appalling. At the counter Mr Patel asks me 'are you getting bored of sitting at home all day?'. Woah woah woah, don't go throwing too many accusations around there sir. How does he know I currently don't have a life? Maybe its the dirty baggy jumper and no makeup look I've gone for. Or maybe he just mistook me for my little brother again. No I shan't be coming into your shop again. 

Get home and alas my cleaner Haitini is here, what a beautiful lovely little Thai lady. She laughs at me and says 'I see you walking back from shop, you look very miserable'. GOD BLESS. Am spending my days painting Georgia O-Keefe style flowers and getting really into VAMPIRE WARS on facebook. Yeah that's right, I'm kicking some vampire ass, level 9 already. This week will get better I'm sure.

16.02.09

Well, this week has been a lot. After breaking up from school on Friday I arrived home in a miserable and tired mood and decided to get into bed with a bottle of wine, no intentions of leaving the house. However, already tipsy, when I received a phone call informing me of a 'MENTAL' house party, thought perhaps it might be worth it. Yeah, it was not. Travel all the way to a dodgy kinda flat in Wallington, full of about a hundred angry looking, drunk, sweaty, screaming teenagers. It was definitely more than Skins series 3, to be fair. After examining the place I couldn't understand why the flat seemed strangely bare until I heard sirens and the sudden screaming of everybody "THE POLICE ARE HERE! RUN!"

Brilliant, truly brilliant. And yep, there are about five or so police cars gathered outside, policemen barking 'GET OUT!' to everyone. Turns out the flat was abandoned. I don't wanna break the law no more, how do I get myself into these situations? Went to a better party, after resorting to using St. Helier Hospital as a desperate means of a toilet. I was glad I left my house in the end.

Other highlights of that weekend include Benny excessively projectile vomiting down my road at 12 o clock on a Sunday night after a pretty bizarre night at some boy's house at the end of my road. Haven't laughed so hard for a while. Even better, when I wake up in the morning incredibly hungover, I find a nice pile of sick next to Benny's head on my sofa. THANKS BENNY. Had to clean up that myself and couldn't get the stench of sick out of the room for a while. Mum gave me a lecture about binge drinking that evening, and how she did not appreciate me coming home so late at night when everyone is asleep, tap dancing in the hallway and proclaiming "I'M SO BLOODY DRUNK" to her. I'll find someone who appreciates it one day I KNOW IT.